No matter how much you try,
you can't stop people
from sticking beans up their nose.
William Howard Taft is America’s Greatest President by volume
‘Premium’ is the least useful adjective when describing a product as it imparts exactly zero knowledge. Given that it means fuckall, you can safely replace the word with ‘fuckall’ in almost every instance of its use.
So the writer who breeds
more words than he needs
is making a chore
for the reader who reads.
Every pen has the potential to write the next great story. There are times I wonder if mine find me disappointing.
Is my cat trying to show affection, or is she just really bad at smothering?
doing what the client asks
is a bad idea.
I'm never certain whether my dog is truly happy to see me, or whether he's just relieved to no longer be alone with the cat.