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Are you a REAL developer?

I'm getting tired of seeing other so-called "developers" pretend like they know what it means to be a real developer. Not only are most of them not the fifth album by the indie rock band Silkworm, most of them have never even heard of the indie rock band Silkworm!

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

I've entered into discussions with "developers" on reputable sites well known for their intellectual discourse such as Twitter and Facebook and found that these "developers" were entirely unable to convert latent images into visible images via chemical reactions. These days, whenever I see "developer" in someone's profile, I immediately think "fake news".

What's worse is that this complete disregard for words and their meanings appears to be pervasive throughout the industry. In what I can only describe as a gross breach of professional etiquette, my own colleagues have admitted that they had neither built on land, nor altered the use of existing buildings for new purposes (to think, I trusted you!).

Fortunately, there is hope.

Of the many "developers" out there, a few have actually written programs for computers.

Sometimes it's a much-needed to-do list app. Other times it's a GUI interface in Visual Basic to track an IP address.

These few proud individuals slave away at what can only be described as one of the most tedious tasks in existance: authoring automating actions.

These "programs" are designed specifically to instruct a hunk of silicon—a veritable rock which we've blasted with lightning in order to trick it into thinking—to do…whatever it is that the developer told it to do.

These are the real developers.

If you happen to be a real developer and you see someone claiming otherwise, please feel free to send them this handy flow chart that I made. Chances are pretty good that they've never even heard of Silkworm, so what do they know about being a real developer?

Are you a developer? Are you the fifth album by the indie rock band Silkworm? Are you a chemical which converts a latent image to a visible image? Do you build on land or alter the use of existing buildings for new purposes? Do you write programs for computers? If you answered Yes to any of the previous questions: Congratulations! You are a developer! Otherwise, sorry, you are not a developer.