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My Response to "Questions I Have For People Who Have Their Life Figured Out"

A friend shared “Questions I Have For People Who Have Their Life Figured Out”, and I thought it was interesting enough to be worth writing up an open response.

In his post, Ryan O'Connel discusses his dissatisfaction with his life in comparison to “Person Who Has Their Life Figured Out” who I will call PWHTLFO and consider her to be female for the convenience of disambiguating pronouns.

O'Connell dances remarkably close to an epiphany, and then almost willfully disregards it. The leadup is well reasoned, but the conclusion exposes an amount of ignorance or immaturity.

For example, Ryan states:

I bought the hydrangeas to be a grown up. You bought the hydrangeas because you thought they were pretty.

Good, he's getting warmer…

And later:

But you know why I can’t make fun of you, Person Who Has Their Life Figured Out? Because you’re genuinely happy. These are your choices, these are your own desires, and they just so happen to be very vanilla.

Even warmer, keep up the progress…

And in conclusion:

One day I’ll be someone who has band-aids in their medicine cabinet and has a dog and bakes bread for fun and LOLs. But that day isn’t today.

Cold, cold, cold, Ryan's freezing now.

Seriously, the whole post is about how much Ryan wants to be like PWHTLFO. By definition PWHTLFO knows what she wants. That's it. Ryan may consider PWHTLFO's tastes to be “vanilla”, but he never stops to consider his own desires. It was obvious from the hydrangeas that Ryan doesn't like “vanilla”. Maybe Ryan likes “chocolate”, but he's so focused on a cargo-cult mentality of replicating PWHTLFO's desires in the hopes of achieving the same level of happiness that he completely misses the point of figuring his life out.

PWHTLFO is happy because she knows how to make herself happy. She does things that she enjoys, and knows how to achieve goals she sets for herself. Ryan isn't happy because he doesn't know what makes himself happy. He doesn't do things that he enjoys because he hasn't taken the time to be introspective, which makes him ignorant of himself. Instead he focuses on the achievements of others, rather than how he could achieve his own goals.

I hope Ryan explores his interests and discovers where his talents lie. I hope that Ryan doesn't end up with all those band-aids in his medicine cabinet, or a dog and loaves of LOL bread; unless, of course, it actually makes him happy.